Preformance
by Koneko-Haru-chan
Summary: The Akatsuki have a question for Sasori and Deidara is the one who has to ask it. DON'T KILL DEI-KUN SASORI! Yaoi warning!


**Preformance**

**Preview: **The Akatsuki have a question for Sasori and Deidara is the one who has to ask it. DON'T KILL DEI-KUN SASORI!!

_**Deidara's P.O.V.**_

Another day at Akatsuki. I swear it can be sooo boring, un. I was sitting in the "living room" with the other members of the Akatsuki. Excluding Sasori-no-danna and Konan-san, they were on missions. Baka Sasori-danna, he wouldn't allow _me_ to go on the mission with him. He said that:"This assignment isn't suited for you, bozu. Besides you'd slow me down." That irritated me to no end. He never respects me, un! And he never respects my art, un! My beautiful explosions! damn puppet. Un.

Ironiclly as soon as my thoughts turned to my danna, so too did the conversation amongst the others. I was presently sculpting some non-explosive clay (Leader-sama nearly **killed **me last time I used my explosive clay tears UN!) as I listened in. "Hey, do you guys think Sasori-san can 'you-know-what'?" Hidan asked. Sick bastar, un. The others looked deep in thought, even Itachi-san! un! Then of course Tobi-no-baka had to pipe up and ask " What's 'you-know-what'??" Honestly that kid is so naive, un! Everyone in the room chuckled. "Why are you laughing at Tobi?! Tobi is a good boy!!" the said idiot sceamed, running out of the room, a waterfall of tears trailing behind him slightly. Everyone sweatdropped.

With Tobi out of the room everyone (except me) went back to debating the idea. "It would...probley...be made out of...wood." Kakuzu-san said warily. "Ewwwww" I didn't see who had spoken, as I had gone back to my sculpture. "Most artificial dicks are actually made of wood." My head snaped up. That was... Itachi...Un?! Kisame-no-danna's eye twitched. "I don't want to know how you know that." I couldn't help but chuckle. Bad move. Hidan-san looked over at me. "Oi! Deidara!" I twitched. God that bastard can be SO rude, un! (1) I nodded to show that I was listening. Another bad move. Hidan-san smirked at me before asking "Have _you _ever seen Sasori's dick?" My jaw dropped in misbelief. Did he just ask me if I had..."UN?!" Hidan-teme shrigged "I jusat thiught that sense you two heathens were partners..." the bastard trailed off. "NO. I have not seen it!" I snapped in reply. Hidan raised his eyebrows at me. I flinch slightly as I went back to my sculpture. I could feel everyone's eyes and thoughts on me. It made me uneasy. I **HATE** feeling uneasy. God! Why can't they look at anything else, UNNNN!! _"umm..." _Zetsu-san spoke up. Thank god they're looking at Zetsu-san now. _"We have seen it, once." _My eyes widen slightly, but I don't dare look up (don't want to gain attention). "Sooooo...he had the right...equiptment?" I was slightly shocked to hear Kisame-no-danna ask that. I guess he's...curious. **"Yes."**

"Well, now that we know he has one, the question is: Can it preform?" Itachi-san stated, calm as you please. Cue another deep thinking process. I sweatdropped. After some time Hidan-san spoke up again. Bastard can't keep quiet. "Soooo who's seen Sasor--" Kakuzu cut him off "Hidan, NOONE has seen Sasori preform!!!" He said crossly. I was starting to freak out inside, but I kept a calm exteriar. They're going to do/say something stupid, un. I just know it, un! Kisame blinked. "Sooo...how are we going to find out if Sasori-san can do it or not?" An awkward silence fell over the room. Even Leader-sama had stopped looking at his scrolls to think it over!! What the Hell, un?! Kakuzu sighed. I DO NOT like that, un! Not at all. "I guess one of us is going to have to ask him" He stated cautiously. A tense silence fell. That is until I broke it by cracking up. Hidan-san glared at me "You have something to say, bastard heathen?!" he asked (yelled at) me. I chuckled slightly before replying. "Yeah, yeah I do, un." I said "Danna wouldn't answer your guy's question anyway." I laughed "You'd probably end up dead, un." I finnished, going back to my sculpture. I could feel them looking at me, again! UN!! Damn it, I made the mistake of speaking up, un. I'm such a baka, un! "Well then, Dei-da-ra" Kisame-no-danna said, emphasising my name. I could _feel_ his shark grin plastered on his face. "Why don't you ask him?" As soon as the words fell off of Kisame-no-danna's Tounge my mind went blank. I glared at the sharkman. "HELL. NO. UN." I said, the silent death threat evidant in my voice. Hidan-san chuckled at me. "What's the matter, bastard?" he mocked concern "Afraid he'll reject you?" That does it, I thought, my hand moving towards the pouch that I kept my explosive clay in. **"D****EIDARA****."** I froze. Then went back to my regular clay. Nobody disobeyed Leader-sama when he used that voice. Hidan-san chuckled. I glared at him, while thinking of ways to blow him up. _"We think Sasori-san might tell Deidara-san"_ Zetsu-san's white side whispered. **"He's the only one Sasori-san will talk to."** Zetsu-san's black side finnished. Everyone is looking at me, again! damn it! Kakuzu seemed deep in thought. Everyone's eyes are now on him. Thank god! "That is true..." he started, then paused. He seemed to hesitate before continuing "Plus Deidara-san knows more about Sasori-san than any of us, thus having more of Sasori's trust placed to him." A thoughtful silence fell among the others as I sweatdropped. There is no way in hell Sasori-danna would actually tell me, un. Never, un.

It was here that Kisame-no-danna spoke up again. "Those in favor of Deidara-san asking Sasori-san?" he asked raising his hand into the air. Hidan followed suit. Then Kakuzu. Then Itachi. Then Zetsu. Then even Leader-sama raised his hand into the air!! I paniced. "Hell No! Un!" I yelled. Leader-sama smirked. I flinched...that smirk is NOT good. "_fine, deidara._..." Leader-sama purred out, smooth as silk. "concider it as an A-rank mission." he finnished silk lacing his voice. I gape at Leader-sama. "What, un?!" I shouted, upstarting. No reaction, if anything his smirk increased. "I said, ask Sasori if he can 'preform' properly, that is your mission." I gritted my teeth together before speaking "Hai, Leader-sama." I said. I could hear the venom dripping from my voice, but I didn't care. Right now I was pissed as hell. I stormed out of the room. I gritted my teeth again as laughter floated out of the room to meet my ears. Damn it, un!

I slammed the door to mine and Sasori-danna's room closed. As I plopped onto my bed, I started to think (try -sweatdrop-, un) up a plan of approch. Sasori-danna HATES waiting, un. So I can't tip-toe around the subject, un. And I can't not ask, un. Or Leader-sama will kill me, un. hee hee. I was still debating feircly with myself when the door opened. I looked over at the intruder, mind fully set on yelling at the idiot. My eyes widened slightly as Sasori-no-danna stepped into the room, his face unexpressive as usual. I flinch slightly as Sasori-danna closed the door. Danna glanced at me before sitting at his desk, to work on his damaged puppets most likely, un. I sulked in my head. Why did he have to get back NOW of all times! UN! Why? Why me? un! After a time I looked up to see why the noises of Danna's work had stopped. My eyes locked with Danna's. He had a strange expression painted across his face. What's up with him? un? I thought, but I stayed silent, conveniently remembering that Sasori-danna gets annoyed when I talk. The strange expression became more and more apparent with every tense, silent second. I looked down, breaking eye contact. Unfortunatly for me I could still _feel_ Danna's eyes on me. I really don't like this intense gaze on me. Un! I started to figit. Damnit, un! "Deidara." Sasori said, breaking the silence. I jumped, my head snapping to face him. "H-Hai, Sasori-danna?" I asked, trying to appear blankish in the face. Danna narrowed his eyes at me. I backed away from him a bit. I gulped "H-Hai, Saso--" "What's wrong? Deidara?" Sasori-danna asked, cutting me off. "U-Un?" I questioned. Danna glared at me "Something's _wrong _with you" he said, deathly calm. "What is it?" I was caught, with no way out. "Umm, ano, u-un..." I stuttered. Danna glared more so, I swear if Sasori-danna was able to shot laser beams from his eyes, like in the comics, I would be DEAD. un. I guess it's the straight-forward, blunt approuch for me,un...un. "U-un..." I flinched before quickly asking "canyoupreformproperly?!" I closed my eyes tight and waited for the pain that was most surely going to come. When the sharp pain I was exspecting did not come, I peeked my only uncovered eye open a crack. Sasori blinked at me in confusion. "Can I ...what properly?" I could feel myself begin to shake. Damn it, un! Danna looked at me exspectantly. I shook more."preform." I said as quiet as I could. Sasori-danna was silent for a while before doing the last thing I exspected, he laughed. UN?! "Of course I can preform, bozu." he said chuckling. "_You _see me preform everyday, dobe." My mind reeled. "UN?! I do?!" I almost yelled. I swear I could see the anger mark on danna's forhead. "Yes, dobe." he said, seething "everyday...as in missions, training, ect." he said emphasising the 'everyday'. "I preform perfectly as a puppet." I was dumbstruck. As a puppet. You have got to be kidding me, un! "I don't mean that kind of preform." I said half-heartedly. When Sasori-danna raised an eyebrow, I continued. "I ment the preform...that...only...guys...can do." my voice becoming steadily quieter as I finnished the sentance. I felt my face flush. Damn it, un! If this had been any other situation I would have said that Danna's shocked face was priceless...but now. He closed his eyes before speaking "Are you asking me if I can properly fuck someone? -anger mark-" I gulped at the daggers hidden beneath his words. He is pissed, un. Sasori-danna opened his eyes to glare at me. "Well? -anger mark-" his hissed. I found myself unable to speak properly so I nodded. Danna closed his eyes again and sighed heavily. Not good, un. He stood up, causing me to flinch away. He glanced at me before leaving the room.

I sigh in relief. At least I'm not going to die,un...yet. Well, I asked him. That's all my mission was, un. He didn't answer, not that I exspected him to, or anything for that matter, un. I should go report back to Leader-sama, un. And tell him that Danna didn't answer, un...But, I might run into Danna and end up dieing, un... hee hee. "I think I'll take a shower, un." I said out loud, heading for the bathroom. When I had stripped my clothing from my slender form, I stepped into the warm, cascading water flowing from the shower head. I remembered my ponytail after a moment and pulled it from it's binding letting the golden locks flow down my shoulders with the water. I let out a content sigh. Tha shower feels nice. Not to mention the fact that the flowing water banished my worries, for now at least. When I had washed myself sqeaky clean, I stepped out of the shower a serene smile in place. Only to frown when I realized that I had forgotten to get myself a clean pair of clothes. I cursed myself quietly for my mishap. Grabbing a towel i dry myself before wrapping it around my waist. I exit the bathroom while putting my hair back into a high ponytail, leaving a section of hair to cover my left eye. I went over to my dresser. Just as I reached for one of the drawers the door opened to reveil Sasori-danna. He gave me a strange look as he closed the door.

I ignore him, hoping beyond hope that he ignores me also. But instead of me he heads straight towards me. Damn it, un! The strange look is still in place. I stood up, with a few articles of clothing in my arms. I tilted my head at Sasori-danna. The look on his face confuses me, I don't understand it at all. "Sasori?-Dan...!"I trailed off, frightened by the look that crossed Danna's face. He grabbed my throat and slammed me into my dresser. My clothes tumbled to the ground as I grabbed his arm in instinct, trying to escape from his grip. He is angry, no angry isn't a strong enough word...he is infuriated. I gasped for breath as Danna's gripped my throat tighter. I closed my eyes to the pain. I knew he was going to kill me. I knew it, un. In one fluid movement Sasori-danna threw me across the room. I had the breath knocked out of me as I fell onto my bed. In the fall my towel had loosened considerably, reveiling my...manhood (yes,I am a MAN! Un! bastads always mistaking me for a girl, un. Bastards.).

I tried to cover myself again. But before I could even get to my towel, Sasori-danna was on top of me holding my hands pinned ubove my head. "Dan..." I started to ask danna, but was cut off by Sasori-danna biting down an a sensitive spot on my neck. As hard as I might try, I couldn't suppress a moan from escaping my lips. My breath became short and forced as Danna continued to chew and nibble at my neck. He backed away from from my neck, but still kept me pinned to my bed. He smirked at me. I was painfully aware of the fact that if Sasori-dann wasn't over top of me I would be completely exsposed. The thought is not comforting. I was snapped from my depressive thoughts by Sasori-danna licking my ear. It sent an involentary shiver down my spine. I began to notice through my fogged up mind that my whole body was kept still by several faint blue chakra strings. Even if Sasori-danna let go, I wouldn't be able to move, un. "You wanted to know if I could properly fuck someone, didn't you? Deidara?" Sasori danna asked/whispered cruelly in my ear. I fought back panic as my mind comprhended just what Danna was implying. He's not going to kill me, un. He's going to fucking rape me, un! "U-Un!" I stammered. Danna smirked. I gasp as I feel Sasori-danna's hand slide down my arm, over my stumache, and kept going south. I tried to move my arm, to stop him. But the chakra strings kept me pinned in place. A moan escaped me as Danna gripped my shaft. "Half-hard already?" Danna chuckled evilly. I gave a small cry as he began to pump me, his individual fingers tracing complex patterns along my member, precum forming at the tip. Then danna's hand slipped even further south. My breath caught in my throught as Danna's fingers slid into me, causing me to become fully hard almost instantly. Another moan broke free of my lips as sasori-danna moved his fingers inside of me. More moans followed as Bastard-danna continued to strock my insides. Damn it, un! I let out a sigh of relief when Bastard-dann removed his fingers. Danna quickly captured my lips with his own. His tounge slid into my mouth, exploring every nook and crannie. His tounge slid over a particularlly sensitive spot on the roof of my mouth. I trembled. I couldn't hep it. I could feel Sasori-danna smirk. I gasp as I felt something press against my entrance. "Sasori-danNA!?" I cried as the hard thing slid into me. Tears formed in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. It's really painful. It is Sasori-danna inside of me. I gasp for breath thankfully as Sasori-danna pulled out. But I gave a loud cry as it was thrust back in ...

Sighing, to calm my nerves, I knocked on Leader-sama's door. An "enter" called out. Gripping the doorknob firmly I pushed the thick door open. I approched Leader-sama confidently (or at least as confidently as I could muster). "Well, Deadara?" Leader-sama asks, a cruel edge to his words as usual. I blush "no comment, sir" I say politely, handing him a scroll. Leader-sama raises an eyebrow at my clearly visable blush, but says nothing of it. For that I am grateful. I bow to him, before leaving the room.

-- The shadowy figure known as 'Leader-sama' unrolled the scroll and read the contents: _'yes he can.'_ the figure smirked, then chuckled darkly.--

I stop a bit away from Leader-sama's quarters. I clutch at my crotch and moan in pain. the events of last night played over and over in my head like a bracken record. It was worse than Itachi's Tsukuyome. "Damn it, that hurt, un."

--_**fin**_--

(1)- in japanese culture suffixes are a very very important part of their lives. To drop the honorific if you have gained the right is a symbol of closeness and affection. If you have not earned the right then it is a very heavy insult. VERY RUDE

(2)-hey ninja's can have comics too! as well as manga.

(3)-bozu basicly means squirt, basicly...

(4)-forgive me, when I wrote this I blushed to much. forgive me for not giving you a full lemon...please don't kill me


End file.
